Assassin’s Creed is the Shit
- The graphics are beautiful and ridiculously realistic.
- The physics engine is equally awesome.
- You get to run and jump off buildings and ricochet off walls. You can climb on ANYTHING you see. You’re basically a monkey wearing a white hood that has a sword. Instead of throwing poo, you throw knives.
- Killing people is like cupcakes: tasty and moist. Okay, maybe less like cupcakes and more like Hitman — it comes down to “How shall I kill this guard? Throwing knife? Stab him in the back? Push him off the wall and scare the crowd below? Will he put up a fight?”
- Unlike Hitman, the crowd is actually reactive and dynamic. Sometimes they’ll help you escape, sometimes they’ll get in your way (on purpose). You can kill someone and use the crowd’s reaction as a distraction.
- Some people dislike the swordplay, but I’m a fan of it. I enjoy how fluid everyone’s movements are. There’s no immediate about-facing to meet your other enemy — the characters actually step and turn and stumble.
- I still can’t get over the interactive environment. In the city of Jerusalem, when you climb to the highest point (and that bitch is high), you can look down and see every aspect of the entire city. Nothing is “pixeled out”. When you climb to a high spot, you can actually look around and try to make out goals in the distance — a tiny little flag is visible 300 yards away. Any other game and you’d never see it.
- People don’t immediately die after you stab them several times. No, they lie on the ground sometimes moaning or screaming. I’m a stickler for medical realism, so this earns the game designers bonus points.
No reason to write about the game’s cons, as Wired has already done so for me: “Why Assassin’s Creed Fails” **[Beware of small spoilers.]
I am Judy's Amygdala 